Working at the museum greenhouse recently, I saw a pair of birdwing butterflies engaged in a courtship dance. The male, with his shimmering green wings, flies up and under the female repeatedly until she submits. This male looked exhausted; he had spent so much time seeking her attention that his wings had become tattered and faded.

That evening a large group of children were in the museum for a special event. A few were excited seeing a large butterfly carrying a smaller one in flight. At first I thought it was the same mating behavior of the previous pair, but then I realized it was something tragically different.

The female was spiraling in the air with the corpse of the male butterfly attached. He had died during intercourse. He must have been so exhausted from impressing her that when she finally gave in, he gave out. Spending most of the day resisting him, the female did not have the strength to remove him, so she died also. The moment felt very metaphoric, probably because Nick had been so persistent in pursuing me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/fashion/bitten-in-the-virtual-zoo-modern-love.html?_r=3&sq=modern%20love&st=cse&scp=2&pagewanted=print